channeling spirit of hunter thompson.
i believe clinton when he said he smoked marajuana but “didn’t inhale.”
Postmodern Zen Koan: When clinton said he smoked marajuana but “didn’t inhale”, he wasn’t bullshitting.
If you’ve ever been a social alcoholic who’s had to quit drinking, the logic in play is natural.
When you’re at the bars and with your friends as an open non drinker, you act different. You’re a little straighter,
a little more isolated. You never feel loose. You don’t get approached loosely. The “oops” factor never ever
comes into play, like it used to after an evening of sitting with a lady and having drinks alone.
Basically, it’s all the bullshit of being at a bar without the benefits of the company of other social alcoholics
and generally lubricated people.
The placebo effect is a hell of a thing, and study after study shows that if you get a bunch of people in a room
and give them non alcoholic beer or some other benign substance they’re told is gonna ABSOLUTELY GET
YOU BITCHEN DRUNK BRO …. they act drunk.
You’re going to pull the wool over everyone’s eyes. You find the bartender. Order a diet coke with a lime,
a club soda short with a lime .. something that looks for all intents and purposes like a coctail.
HERE IS THE IMPORTANT STEP: When the bartender gives you the price or otherwise hands you the drink
which may be free, you give him a $5 and tell him these magic words – “Thank you. I don’t drink, but I want
to be stealth about it.”.
Showing some appreciation for the man, because you’re going to be seeing him all night drinking your pretend drinks just like you used to drink the real ones. Sip them and get loose, don’t let anyone know you aren’t drinking. Just tell the bartender you’d like another.
Tip him $1.00 each time.
Yes, you’ll spend a little money. Just like you used to, except about 10% of it.
You’ve effectively recreated your entire drinking culture ritual with the removal of alcohol in the picture.
You’ll get loose and have fun and the placebo effect kicks in after a bit of stealthy teetotaling.
Also, in the world of the 11:45am haze where all walls become a Parisian salon through the power
of liquor, you’ll have two superpowers!
1) You aren’t actually drunk, so your mind is still sharper than everyone else’s even if you aren’t actively aware of it!
2) When you put your key in the door, just like you’ve done staggering time after time, it’s actually very easy and you’re
suddenly very happy you aren’t actually drunk! Your motor skills are still sharper than everyone else’s even if you
aren’t actively aware!
There will be times you are briefly aware of your hidden potential, and these peaks shall seem mighty indeed.
So imagine there’s a pot smoking culture like a drinking culture. And you want to ingratiate yourself
into that culture, without the intoxicating bit. So you smoke, but you don’t inhale – the closest thing in the stoner
universe to a tall diet coke with lime.
And you’re gonna tell me Bill Clinton wouldn’t pull off this swindle? Now you’re bullshittin me.